


The Idiotic Lunatic And The Money Lover

by Kennywilson11



Category: Naruto
Genre: My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-10-31 18:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kennywilson11/pseuds/Kennywilson11
Summary: Hidan was a bat shiz crazy guy. When you pear him up with a man who loves money over anything else, what do you get?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SO uh, this is my first story, so no flames? Cherry on top? XD

He had had enough

 

He knew he was different. After all, who in a town of brown haired people had albinism, and also happened to be in a “cult”? The “cult” was were he felt best. No one judged him there. And if they did? Well . . . they’d regret it. He could attack any of them if he wanted. After all, he happened to be the one who the experiment was put on. The leader would never experiment on an old loyal follower. They were far too “Valuable” to lose. It had happened before he knew it. He was told that it was a “joining ceremony”, not a possible death trap. Now he didn’t have to worry about death traps.

He never thought about how much of a curse his gift was until he actually used his head. Some would make fun of him for it. He could fight, yes, and pretty well, but he wasn’t the smartest. Maybe that came with immortality . . . going into fights without thinking, because you had a feeling you would always win. He would probably regret that in the future. Heh, yea right.  
Once the other cultist had figured out about the experiments success, they tried it on themselves. After all, who wouldn't want to be immortal? Little had they known, the experiments only worked with certain blood types. By the time they figured that out, it was to late. AB Negative was a rare type of blood, apparently. Guess he’d have to add that to the list of rare things about himself.  
Grabbing one of the many scythes against the wall in the temple, he walked out. As he was walking away from the temple, he took some time to look at the type of scythe he had grabbed. Three blades and red paint. There was also a cord he could attach to his wrist which could prove useful.  
He had his entire plan, well, planned since the moment the experiment was complete. Yugakure wasn’t a well known village. It was small as well, which is why everyone knew each other. Most people in the village were related someway, weather it be cousin once removed, great grandparents, etc, hence why everyone looked almost the same. Becoming a shinobi was like a “joke” job. When your in such a peaceful village, as well as area, becoming a shinobi was pointless. The only missions the village leaders could give were the typical D rank. Fetching someone's cat, getting groceries, etc. 

By the time they could send a emergency quest to a nearby village, the deed would be done. He had killed in his life before, he wasn’t afraid to get a little messy. He finally got to the village after his half hour walk, and went to a small boulder on a hill overlooking the small town. Putting his scythe across his shoulder, he looked around at the town below him. Civilians were walking to and fro, buying groceries, chatting with friends, playing and what not. Ending them would be a piece of cake. Considering they were civilians, they’d probably freezes up at the first sight of blood. Hesitation is all he needed. Once he “cleared” out the area, he would head off to the village leaders home. They would most likely not know whats happening, in which all they would hear is screaming. Once they did, however, it would be to late

He jumped down from the rock, scythe in his hand, and pike in his cloak, and did exactly what his plan entitled.  
The few who escaped called it the “Hot Water Massacre”. Little had he known, a certain money hog was on his tail.


	2. The nutcase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mk, little late, had to deal with school and stuff. I got a C in PE, which i'm not surprised with tbh.  
> Good new though, we were given our main course schedules for next year (I'm going into high school), and I got honors English, so yay to me XD
> 
> Anyways, here's a Kakuzu pov chapter, so t h a t ' s c o o l

Kakuzu Pov

He grumbled as the third branch today hit him in the face. Why was he running through the forest? The new edition of the bingo book had quite a few new faces. Most of the crimes were simply murdering a person or two. They weren't worth the time, in which there bounties were the equivalent of a d rank missions. However, an S Rank bounty had recently been added

Name: Hidan  
Age: Around 26  
Gender: Male  
Crime: Massacring the population of the Village Hidden in the Hot Springs.  
Description: Silver hair, purple eye and pale skin, most likely albino.  
Family: Unknown  
Last known location: Unknown.  
Ninjutsu: Unknown  
Weapons: A red scythe with three blades, as well as a pike.  
Bounty: 500,000 Ryo

From what he could remember, the Village Hidden in the Hot Springs was a small village. Then again, he had never been there before in which bounties never came from there. He had no idea where to start searching, in which Hot Springs was in the middle of many nations. However, judging by the description, it would be fairly easy to find him.

Due to his speaking, he narrowly avoided another outgrown tree branch. Grumbling, he went to a nearby clearing. He was fairly close to Hot Springs, so he decided now would be a good time to rest. Looking back at the bounty, he did some more thinking.

You’d think someone would be able to find this guy. He murdered an entire village for Kami’s sake! 

His main concern were Hidan's ability. According to the bounty, know one knew if he had any jutsu. Then again, someone might of known, but wasn’t able to tell anyone. . . .

Ignoring the thought, he continued moving once again. After a few minutes of hopping tree to tree, he finally made it to the village. It smelled awful. By the looks of it, no one had been able to come down and clean the place up yet.

Entering the village, he was met with a . . . pleasant site. Bodies stacked aop bodies in the shape on a circle with an upside triangle inside. 

Great, the guy’s a religious nut show. Just perfect.

He had fought one another religious nut show before, and that was a long while ago, probably two years ago. He didn't last long, though. He did, however, have a feeling this nutcase would be a much better fight.


	3. Idk what the name should be XD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So uh, third chapter, yay to me I guess.
> 
> Also, if ya see any spelling errors, don't be afraid to tell me them

Hidan P.O.V

 

Had he ever mentioned how good it felt to stab through his heart? He had done it many, many, many times. Sacrifice here, sacrifice there. If he was going to be here until the end of time, he might as well have fun. Hopping through the trees, he thought of how the week had gone by. It was currently Tuesday, and the massacre had happened last Thursday. By now, he had already doubled the amount of kills he had gotten than last week. Noted, most kills were just wandering bandits, or people from small towns, but it felt so very good. He had noticed that someone was following him. He may not be the smartest, or the best at sensing chakra, but whoever was following him had a decent amount of it.

Here’s to put it in simpler terms. Imagine if a single wolf was following you. It silent, never makes a noise. Its harder to hear. Now imagine a giant pack of them, stepping on twigs and what not. 

Hopping through the trees, he headed off to the nearest village. It was a small one, less than 150 people in it, and seemingly peaceful. Not including the bandits he had killed earlier in the day, he had not made any kills and needed to get on to that. Considering the village was on the border of Fire Country, and the Leaf Village was around two hours away, he didn’t worry about ninja coming. The chances of the Leaf Village even noticing this attack was pretty slim, let alone deciding to help.

Almost tripping on a branch, he could see the village in the distance.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kakuzu P.O.V

 

His prey was rather organized. It seemed as if Hidan had no idea were he was going. Nonetheless, whenever he made it to a village to rest, he’d always find a massacre waiting for him. Dead bodies here, dead bodies there, dead bodies everywhere. At this point, he got a little worried if there wasn’t a bloodbath were ever he went. By now, he had to steer away from the open, in which it seemed as if Anbu were also on Hidan’s trail

He had fixed that problem, however.

In his long life, he had experienced others taking his bounty or kill. Sometimes, they just got ahead of him, and other times they had even beaten him. Only once had a decently sized bounty get away from him, only to be caught by another. Pitiful, really.

By now, he was getting close to the target. Thank Kami Hidan took a stop every few hours. Why would someone need that many stops in a day? Then again, his stops almost always involved bodies. Many, many bodies. Then again, he seemed to only be about an hour away from him, and considering how many breaks Hidan takes, he should be able to get to him in about 30 minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So uh, typed and posted this during class, so thats pretty cool I guess-

Kakuzu P.O.V

 

He had finally, finally, caught up to the nut job. Due to the sound of crashing metal, he could tell that he just walked into a fight. This fight, however, was a lot different that what he’d expect from a murderer. It consisted of Hidan stabbing himself in what he was assuming was a cult symbol. Yep, this guy was insane.

The fight Hidan was in wasn’t much of a fight. It was really just him stabbing himself over and over, and eventually, the villager/ninja fell to the floor. How that work, he didn’t know. 

Looking at the bloody Hidan, he finally got a good look at him. He definitely had a different look from most people. Black and white skin, silver hair, purple eyes. You could probably spot this guy in the middle of a village, and not even have to try. And the smell of blood reaked. He was wondering how Hidan hadn’t noticed him watching him. Surly someone who killed villages could sense chakra? He’d have to figure that out later. He decided to get the fight over with, so he knocked on a hut wall, which made a rather loud noise.

 

Hidan P.O.V

This village had been a rather pain to kill off. They had actual ninja in the village, and he also had to dispose of some Anbu who came to intercept him. Pity, really. He hadn’t had any REAL fights yet. Most of the fights were just ‘brave’ villagers. Pursonally, he thought they were stupid. Like, really stupid. Who runs up to a man with a giant scythe and think “Oh, I could easily kill him with a kunai, obviously.” Lately, however, he had been focusing on the chakra signature he believe was following him. They were definitely nearby. Hearing a small screech, he turned around and saw a rather . . . different looking man.

The man had tan skin, and he covered up his entire body. The only other thing he could see on the man was that he had red eyes and green pupils. That was pretty unique in his opinion. 

 

Anyones P.O.V

 

“Hey! Who the _____ are you supposed to be, huh? Some kind of clown?” Hidan yelled out to the strange man. Kakuzu, however, said nothing. There would be no point, in which he believed he would kill Hidan in but a few moments.

“Ey? Are you deaf or something? I asked who the ____ you are? Ya mute or something? I hear Lord Jashin loves quiet people. Wonder how much he’d appreciate you as a sacraf-” Before he could finish, Kakuzu sent a handful of threads towards the zealots heart. He personally didn’t feel like hearing some sort of dumb rant about this moron religion.

However, once he took the threads out of Hidan's body, the body didn’t fall. And it wasn’t like it was planted to the ground or anything, Hidan's body wouldn’t fall to the floor. Kakuzu walked over slowly, yet cautiously to find out what happened. Once he was about a foot away, he felt something go into his chest. What happened? Last time he checked, he stabbed the man in the chest. Then it hit him

This stupid religious zealot was immortal.

“Now, one question, what the ____ was that for?! Here I was, going to sacrifice you to Lord Jashin quickly and painlessly, and you go and stab me. That, my dear friend . . . is a sin.”

 

Kakuzu P.O.V

 

He coughed up blood, looking towards the albino. Despite there being a pike in his chest, he tore off his cloak and let loose the “Heart Monsters”.

This will be fun.


	5. Chapter 5 I think-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Look at me, updating for the first time in like, 2 months. I can explain-
> 
> Whenever I type these chapters, I do it during school on the chrombook they provide for us. Well, they blocked Archive 2 months ago, and I didn't feel like re typing the chapters I had ready.
> 
> But my stupid self realized today that I could just log into my school account through my computer. I swear I have more than 3 braincells-  
> So UH, enjoy? XD
> 
> Oof, I also spellchecked this chapter, so hopefully it wont be as bad as last chapter, grammar wise
> 
> The chapters also 1,000 words, so yay to me for that-
> 
> Also, real quick before reading this, I gotta give a slight warning. I change Hidan up a bit, ability wise. He can sorta move without his body being attached to his head, so that's fun-

Kakuzu P.O.V))

 

To say the battle wasn’t very hard was an understatement. The problem was that the stupid zealot kept getting up. Even with his heart creatures electrocuting or burning him, he would just keep getting up. Frankly, he didn’t really have a plan on getting this guy to the Collection Office. He couldn’t cut the guy up to dismembered body parts because Zangei wouldn’t except the parts. The guy was only interested in full bodies. Even if he kept this lunatic in one piece, he wouldn’t go peacefully. Also, if he did manage to get this guy to the collection office in one piece, Zangei probably wouldn’t be appreciative of having a very much alive person making a ruckus in the body containers. 

Despite having a scythe getting swung at him, he continued to think, even while dodging. He was much more focused on his after plan than on the bounty. His first idea, though already thought about, was that he could cut the white haired man into pieces, then reattach the body pieces together with his threads when he got to the Collection Office. The only problem was that he didn’t have anything to keep the body in. It would be pretty suspicious walking through the forest with a pile of body parts in his arms. He could also go with his earlier plan and just drag him there.He decided against that, though, in which he didn’t feel like fighting Hidan every step of the trip.

Focusing more on the fight, he could hear the maniacal laughter of the lunatic. Deciding to go with the first plan, he aimed a small horde of threads towards the zealot’s neck. The kid might be immortal, yes, but no human body would be able to work without the head, or so he thought. From the little information he remembered from science classes from the old day, he knew for certain that the brain sent the directions and movements to the body parts. If there's no head to the body, there'd be no movement.

He heard a gasp like noise, and he focused onto the situation in front of him. The threads hit their mark, going straight through the man’s neck, and coming out from the other side. In less than a few seconds, the white haired man's head fell off, landing with a plump.

 

Hidan P.O.V))

 

There was one thing he was thinking about at the moment . . . That. *******. Hurt.

He had never had his head cut off before. Yes, he's had a leg get chopped off before. He had put the leg next to were it used to be, and sat still for a few hours, waiting for it to reattach.. Yes, he had learned that he had slight healing capabilities. If he put limbs next to each other in the right place, they'd eventually connect together. It was kind of like a papercut. As long as its left alone, the skin would eventually heal. All it needed was time.

That first time his leg got chopped off, he had learned that he could still move his foot, just not his leg. You can’t move a leg if there’s no joint to turn. He’ll have to thank Jashin for the first part later, after he sacrificed this heathen.

Also, from what he could guess, he could still move his body, even without a head. If he could move his foot without it being attacked to his body, the best guess would be that he could still move his body without the actual head.

The moment his head fell to the dirt road, he immediately pulled it to were it was supposed to be without a second thought. The movement was so quick, one probably wouldn't have noticed unless they were looking directly at him.

 

Kakuzu P.O.V))

 

When he saw the head fall off, he waited a few seconds before going to check out his work. He doubted the white haired man had any tricks up his sleeves. How did he guess that? If he had any other abilities, he probably would have had use them during the fight. Yes, the pentagram on the other side of the battle field from Hidan’s previous fights was a little odd. It was also a little odd that the lunatic had tried to get over to the symbol more than once in the fight, but he didn’t question it. Besides, the heart monsters kept him away from the symbol whenever he ran towards it. He was going to risk anything.

As he was walking towards the body, he watched Hidan move his head towards his body with his right arm. Guess that confirms he can still move, even with an incapacitated head. Great. . . .

Once he got to the body, his heart monsters returned to his body, except the water mask, in which it kept guard incase the zealot still had a trick. Once his back finished stitching back together, he bent down and picked up the head from the hair. Many upon many colorful words followed that. He didn’t even know one new so many curses.

Ignoring the curses, he handed the head off to the water mask. Grabbing Hidan’s pike, as well as a kunai of his own, he began to chop the limbs apart from each other. There was a struggle. He didn’t know it was possible for a body to struggle without a head, but he just added it onto the list of new things he has learned about Hidan today.

He handed the body parts off to the water mask, and told it to stay here with the body parts while he went to the town next over to this one, only third of a mile from here. With the whole town being . . . deceased, he didn’t have to worry about someone seeing the mask. Even if someone did see the mask, he and said object will be gone in about an hour, so it didn’t matter that much.

As he was about to head towards the next village, he decided to zone into Hidan’s ranting. Seemed he was cursing now in different language. He had a feeling this would be a very, very, very long day.

 

Hidan P.O.V))

 

He never knew speaking could get so exhausting. He had listed off every curse word he knew in at least ten different languages. There were so many to the point were when he finished, he realised the stitch face had left. He’d have to ask what his name was later, even if he wasn't going to use it. It would be better to know it than calling him stitch face in both his mind and mouth.

After finishing taking a few breaths, he became aware of his surroundings. Using his arm, he picked up his head and looked around. As his arm was turning his head, he noticed he was being held up by something. Turning his head around, he almost made a ‘yip’ like noise. Behind him was some sort of black string creature with a blue mask. He had never actually seen anything like it before, and he had traveled a decent bit. 

“Ey, weird . . . whatever you are. Where is the Stitchface at? Doesn’t he know it’s pretty  
f*****g rude to cut off someone's head, then leave?” He asked, but then frowned when he didn’t get an answer. Using his arm, he poked the creature,”Hello? Did you hear me you s******d?”

The creature looked down at him, made a grunt like noise, then continued guarding.

Now this would be a very long day.


	6. Chapter 6 I think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ello again!  
> Real quick, I forgot to mention. As well as changing up Hidan's abilities a bit so he isn't a one trick pony, I also decided to change up the cannon fights later on in the series. That, will be dealt with when we get to it. Also, am I the only one disappointed with how little development we got from those two in the show? I'm probably the only one-
> 
> I also checked the spelling/grammar in this, so there should hopefully be zero mistakes.

Kakuzu P.O.V)))

 

He entered into the village, feeling a bit awkward. After all, who wore a cloak with aggressively bright red clouds on it for the fun of it? Ignoring the stares he was getting, he walked towards two civilians that were walking together. The civilian was wearing a calm yellow shirt, and had been walking with whom he guessed was his special someone. 

“Which store here sells bags?” He asked, ignoring there terrified looks. He wasn't surprised that they were frightened of him. He was pretty tall, and covered his entire body except his eyes and a bit of his face. If that was the least bit intimidating, he didn't know what was. 

Once the two pointed him into the direction of a shop that sold bags, they ran off. He chuckled as he watched them run off, and started walking towards said shop. The shop was definitely a small one, with darkish mint colored walls. As he opened the door, a little bell sounded, and he walked towards the bag area. Grabbing a duffle bag, he walked towards the shopkeeper. Reluctantly handing over the money, he paid for the duffle bag and left the shop.

Once again, he ignored the civilians and left the village as fast as he got there.

 

Hidan P.O.V))

He wasn’t the smartest person in the world, he knew that. He did know, however, that the Stitchface was probably trying to sell off his bounty. Then again, if the old man was, why would he just leave him here. Kind of destroys the purpose. All though it was annoying being in pieces, he could slowly feel skin and muscle connecting to each other. His only hope that the right body parts were connecting together. It wouldn’t be very fun cutting off his own arm because it healed to his leg sockets. 

As he was thinking, he heard footsteps behind them. Looking through the corner of his eyes, he got a glimpse of the Stitchface’s cloak. Seriously, if your trying to be a stealthy ninja, why would you wear a cloak with bright blood red clouds on it? Anyone could see it from a mile away.

“I see the pansy came back! What the f**k is your name anyways?” He asked, trying to get both a reaction and an answer from the older man. However, instead of getting an answer, he instead watched as the Stitchface opened up a duffle bag, which he was guessing was new. Before he could ask what the bag was for, Kakuzu came over to him. 

 

Kakuzu P.O.V))

He was absolutely sick of this kid. Wait, was he a kid? He looked to be around 16. He then decided the question wasn’t important. Besides, he could just ask latter. 

He ignored the ‘pansy’ insult, as well as the asking of his name, and walked toward the water mask and Hidan. He went to grab Hidan’s head to throw it into the bag first, and noticed a bit of resistance, as if the head had been connected to the neck by a thread. Ignoring that small detail, he put the head into the bag, and then went for the other limbs. He did this all while listening to a series of colorful words, might he add. Like earlier with the head, all of the kids limbs seemed to be sorta attached. He had broken the few threads of skin however. 

Seeing as all the limbs and body parts were in the duffel bag, he recalled the water mask. Once it had gone back inside him, his back stitched itself back together. Closing the bag, he put it over his shoulder and continued walking, ignoring the curses from inside the bag. Seriously, how did this kid know so many curses? He could probably make a sailor blush if he tried enough.

 

 

Kakuzu P.O.V))

 

It had been around two hours since he started walking again, and finally, FINALLY, the kid had stoped ranting. He wouldn’t of been surprised if the kid hadn’t taken a single breath during his ranting. To be honest, he didn’t know how Hidan hadn’t passed out sooner, assuming he had passed out.

There was also another thing on his mind that he just couldn't forget. Why did the kid’s limbs feel as if they had reconnected? Seeing as how the kid was probably passed out, he stopped under a tree and decided to check. Pulling the bag over his shoulders, he laid down the bag and unzipped it. Pulling an arm out, he noticed that the torso was almost attached. Great, the kids body reconnects itself. As he was about to put the arm down, he felt another arm grab his arm, which scared the s**t out of him. Who wouldn’t of gotten spooked by something like that?

He looked over at the head which was conveniently facing up and saw the smirk on Hidan’s face. Grabbing Hidan’s arm and shoving it off, he immediately closed the bag. Wait, did he just get mad? He never got mad! Stupid kids making him go crazy. . . .

He put the duffel bag over his shoulder again, and decided to hop from tree to tree to make the journey as bumpy as possible for that little trick the kid played

 

 

 

Kakuzu/Zengai P.O.V sort of))

 

He eventually got to the collection office. However, Hidan had decided to get his own revenge by talking/cursing his heart out the entire way there.

Walking towards the collection office, he didn’t exactly know what to do. He could just reattach the body parts with his threads, but he didn’t exactly know how to explain this to Zangei. Deciding to just tell Zangei the truth, while also hoping for the best, he walked into the Collection Office.

To any random person coming in there, it just looked like a normal bathroom. Well, a broken down rusty bathroom. Walking over to the third and fourth sink, he knocked on the in between them. A hidden door fell down, and he walked inside, duffel bag and all.

“Hey, is that Kakuzu? Do you have another bounty?” A voice said. Stepping out of the shadows, Zangei appeared. Were he had come from, he didn’t know, and frankly, he didn’t care.

“Well, yes, but there’s a problem with this bounty. . . “ He beckoned for Zangei to come over, which he did. As Zangei was walking over, he took the duffel bag off from his shoulder, and put it down on a metal table that he didn’t remember being there before. Once Zangei was over by the table as well, he beckoned for Zangei to open the duffel bag. Reluctantly, he did so, expecting a trap of some kind. However, what he saw surprised him. Inside was a an entire human corpse, except cut up limb from limb.

“Kakuzu, what is this? You know I only take bounties that are in one piece.” He said, recovering from the shock of there being a literal cut up body inside. He looked towards Kakuzu, and saw he had a smirk on his face. Kakuzu then proceeded to poke the head. Immediately, a plethora of ‘fun’ words were shouted, as well as ‘promises that Jashin will smite you’. Surprised, he looked over to Kakuzu for some sort of explanation.

“You remember how none of the survivors from the Hot Water Massacre had seen him perform any jutsu? The kid doesn't know any jutsu, however, he’s immortal.” Before Zangei could respond, Kakuzu immediately asked, “Will you still take him? Because I have no idea what to do with him.”

“I would, if he were together in one piece without the help of your threads. Even if he reattached himself like he seems to be doing, I'd prefer it if he were together now. I'm assuming you don't have the time to wait for him to do so, correct?” Zangei asked, finally getting over his surprise.

 

“Unfortunately not. I must be leaving soon, or else leader will be wondering where I am. I will see you later, Zangei.” He said, putting the duffel bag over his shoulder. He walked out, and entered back into the bathroom. Knocking on the wall, the wall that had fallen over returned to its normal position. He then walked out of the building, and started to walk back to the base.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back
> 
> Got it to 1200+ words I think-
> 
> Also, really quickly, I'm gonna say something. The characters are gonna be hecka OOC sometimes, and I don't really care enough anymore XDXD
> 
> Also gonna be changing up the cannon timeline, such as the order of the members being invited into the Akatsuki-
> 
> I also spellchecked once, so there might be some mistakes

Kakuzu/Hidan (Kinda changes) P.O.V)))

 

“Ey dips**t, get me out of here, it's f*****g crowded.” Hidan complained. Less than a second later, however, there was a crack, which sounded like biting into a piece of celery. “Never mind, I fixed the problem.” Hidan continued

Kakuzu really didn’t want to know what Hidan had done. He’d figure out later, but he already had a pretty good idea on what had happened.

 

 

After about an hour of hopping tree to tree and listening to Hidan’s chatter, he finally had enough. Stopping on a rather thin tree branch, he dropped down to the ground. Taking the duffel bag off his shoulders, he opened it up and dropped out its contents. Surprisingly enough, Hidan’s limbs had already reattached. Noted, a few of his fingers were in the wrong places, but that could always be fixed later. Another thing to take note was that his back was bent in an awkward position. That must be where he heard the crack sound from. Then again, the backbone seemed to be basically back in place.

“Finally! You have no f*****g idea how boring it is in a bag, especially a bag that is meant to fit something that is, you know, not a full grown person. I'm going to have sores for weeks!” Hidan complained, and then continued into an endless chatter.

“I’m going to stop you right there. Due to the fact that Zangei wouldn't except you bounty, as well as the fact that I have to head back to base, you have two options. You can either follow me, which I'm sure your going to do, or you can leave.” Kakuzu said in a somewhat bored mood. He knew this entire ordeal would be a giant pain in the rump. Yes, he could just cut up Hidan and run off, but he knew Hidan would immediately start following him once he was reconnected just to upset him. At least, he seems like the kind of person to do that.

“Yea sure I’ll come with. Think of it as a sort of revenge for shoving me into a f*****g bag, you stupid pansey!” Hidan practically yelled. Does this kid know what being stealthy means? Then again, he was guessing that the kid never had to be.

“Whatever, just keep up. Leader will deal with you when the time comes.” Kakuzu said, still bored with the whole situation. Worst case scenario, Leader invites Hidan to join the Akatsuki. After all, they have two spots open. God forbid he gets paired up with this kid. 

 

 

Kakuzu/Pein/Hidan P.O.V(It changes throughout the chapter)))

 

As they were walking, he put up with even more of Hidan’s talking. The kid legit never shut up. Even as they were entering the Village Hidden in the Rain, he was still spouting out useless information. From the few times he actually listened to Hidan’s talking, he decided it would be best not to. One moment the kid was talking about ‘the funniest victim death’ of his, then the next he’s ranting about some ‘heathens’ he had killed. 

While they were walking, they were given a few odd looks. After all, they didn’t seem like average shinobi. Kakuzu led them past a few shops and alleyways. Eventually, they got to a building, which might as well be a skyscraper, and he opened the door. Instead of there being a hallway like one would expect, the only thing in it was a staircase. Kakuzu then proceeded to walk up the stairs with Hidan in tow.

“How many f*****g stairs are there? This s**t goes on forever!” Hidan complained after the first thirty steps, unsurprisingly. With a small migraine growing, Kakuzu continued going up the steps. Once they eventually got there, they were met with a pitch dark room with the only light coming from a giant gaping hole in the front of the room. Sitting on the edge of the hole was an orange haired man in the same cloak Kakuzu was wearing.

“Kakuzu, I see you’re back, and with a visitor. Might I ask who that is?” The orange haired man asked without looking up. He just continued to look down at the village. Before Kakuzu could answer, Hidan did so instead.

“I’m Hidan you pansy! Also, what the f**k is going on here? A cult meeting?” He asked.

Kakuzu smacked Hidan on the head, and then proceeded to answer the question in a more appropriate way. 

“This is Hidan. He was the bounty I was going after. I believe he has a type of immortality. Zangei wouldn’t accept taking Hidan once he found out, so he decided to follow me.” He said, finally getting over his secondhand embarrassment. He was actually surprised the Leader hadn’t attacked Hidan then and there. “Due to his immortality and the fact he can reconnect his body parts, it would have been pointless to just cut him up and leave. I was wondering what you would want me to do with him.”

It took a few moments for the orange haired man to respond. His answer, however, confused Kakuzu.

“He will join us as our second to last member. Kakuzu, any new recruit we assign to you is killed before the end of the week due to your temper. Hidan will become your partner to solve that problem.” He answered calmly. All though he wouldn't admit it, he was quite glad that Hidan had come. Every time he had paired Kakuzu up with someone, he would lose his temper and kill off the partner. The longest a partner has survived was three weeks. There was even a bet going on between Kisame and Zetsu on weather Kakuzu’s next partner would beat the record. Seems Zetsu would be getting an easy win on the bet.

“Fine . . . would you like myself and him to go back to the base?” Kakuzu asked. He was severely angry/upset with being partnered with this migraine in the making, but he would never argue back with the leader. For some reason, he felt Hidan would be the first to do so. How’d he guess that? Hidan’s an idiot. Only an idiot would go up against leader without a fear in the world. He would just have to see in the future.

“I would.” The orange haired man replied. He was surprised that Hidan hadn’t said anything, in which he obviously didn’t seem to be scared of him. Hidan didn’t seem like the brightest shinobi in the world, but as long as the partnership between Kakuzu and Hidan would stop costing him new members, he didn’t really care.

Once he heard Kakuzu and Hidan leave, he continued to read reports as well as bingo book descriptions to find the final member. 

After doing research for a certain amount of time, he believed he found who would soon be the newest, as well as the last member of the Akatsuki. That certain person, who he learned the name of was Deidara, would be partnered up with Sasori. He would send out the new partners, Kakuzu and Hidan, out to recruit him in the morning.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof finally posted a chapter-  
> Kinda got bored of writing this. Didn't have time to either. Summer starts tomorrow though, so hopefully I can write more-  
> also got this to like, 1.4k words
> 
> hope ya like it-

Anyones P.O.V))

 

After meeting with the Leader, they immediately went to the base. By ‘back to the base’, it was more like ‘Hidan following Kakuzu’. The sun was close to setting, and apparently, they were only a few minutes away from the base.

“So who was that guy? You completely backed down to him like a pansy!” Hidan all but practically yelled. He didn’t really understand why Kakuzu had done that. Yes, the orange haired man had an odd air around him, but that didn’t mean much. Maybe he was just missing something.

“That was the leader, Pain.” Kakuzu said in a somewhat annoyed way. “I wouldn’t have been surprised if he attacked you after the way you acted towards him.”

Kakuzu was already done with this partnership. This kid had no respect to those above him. The kid also didn’t know how to keep his trap shut either. Maybe this was the way karma decided to punish him. Now, he had to be partnered up with this moron until he died.

 

After a few minutes of walking in silence, they finally reached the entrance to the base. He then proceeded to go through the hand signs to roll the rock out-of-the-way. Once said rock was out-of-the-way, they then walked in. Inside, the first thing they were greeted by was a puppet staring at them from the other side of the entrance. Yep, they were definitely in the Akatsuki Base. Only Sasori would be lazy enough to leave his puppets wherever he decided to drop them.

Ignoring the puppet, Kakuzu continued walking, except he turned to the left and entered in through a hole in the wall, leading to another part of the base. This area was a long yet narrow hallway, with four doors on each side, and an open hole at the very back of the hallway to get to the next room. Heading towards the third door on the right, he opened up the door and kept it open for Hidan to come in.

“I’m guessing this is your room. Do whatever you want with it. Remember that you have to pay for anything you break here.” Kakuzu stated. “However, it would be best to introduce you to the others. Please, for that stupid god of yours sake, don’t make a fool of yourself.” He said, already sensing a headache coming. He knew for a fact that Hidan would ignore his warning. It was practically in his nature.

Beckoning for Hidan to follow, he walked out of the room. They then walked into the commons room through the hole in the wall that had been seen earlier. The sight they saw was unsurprising to Kakuzu. A black-haired man was reading a book while sitting in a chair. He couldn’t see the title of the book. Next to him was a blue haired, as well as blue skinned man who seemed to be eating a type of sushi.

On the other side of the room, a red-headed male was tinkering with a puppet that looked an awful lot similar to the puppet they had seen at the entrance. Near, but not too close to the redhead, was a male sticking through the walls watching the red-head. The male had green hair, as well as a literal giant flytrap around themselves. The man had two different skin colors on each side. One side was pure white, and the other side was literal black.

All of the people who had already been in the room looked up when they noticed others had come in. Before they can ask anything, Kakuzu interrupted.

“The moody reader is Itachi Uchiha, next to him is Kisame Hoshigaki. The red-head with the puppet fetish is Sasori and the plant stalker is Zetsu.” Kakuzu said in a bored like tone. “Everyone, this idiot is Hidan, my new partner.”

Instead of asking literally any question, Zetsu asked a particular one

“How long will this partner last?” The two sides asked. Hidan decided it was best not to question the fact two people were talking despite there being only one body.

“He will sadly be my partner till the day I either die or leave.” Kakuzu said, which was quickly followed by a sigh. Instead of questioning what Kakuzu meant, Zetsu left the wall and walked towards Kisame. He immediately held out an arm to Kisame, making grabbing notions at him. Sighing, Kisame handed over the bet money.

Sasori proceeded to stand up and walk towards Hidan and Kakuzu, leaving his puppet behind. He decided to finish up the small touches later.

“How’d you become a missing-nin?” Sasori asked. There was no emotion or feeling in his talking, which Hidan didn’t question.

“Massacred my entire village. You should have seen the looks on those little s**ts faces! It was priceless!” Hidan said, grinning, and holding back laughter. Most would be disgusted with what they had done, but not him.

When Itachi heard the word ‘massacred’, he looked up. Although none had seen it, there was a small glint of sadness in his eyes. He then looked back down at his book and continued reading. Surprisingly, he even added in a little 'hn' to the conversation.

 

 

After some talking and arguing, everybody retreated to their rooms for the night. It was quiet and still. A little to still. Ignoring the feeling, Kakuzu went to bed.

 

 

 

At around 6 am, all the members had woken up. Leader had also returned along with Konan. Deciding to check on Hidan and made sure he didn't completely mess up the place, he opened his own door and went towards Hidan’s door. Deciding to not to knock, he opened the door. The sight he saw was… unpleasant. In the middle of the room laid Hidan in that weird pentagram of his. The only problem was that he was laying in the middle of the of it with his pike pinning himself to the floor. To say there was a little blood was an understatement.

“This was probably a bad time-” Kakuzu started to only get interrupted by a very much alive Hidan

“Eh it’s fine. I'll be done in a moment. . .” He said trailed off in which doing this felt so good. Besides, he couldn't just stop halfway through praying. He’d be done in a moment anyways.

“Whatever, just clean that up the blood stains, and I’m not going to pay for new wall paint.” Kakuzu said, and he shut the door. Note to self, don't walk in on Hidan at 6 a.m. in the morning, unless you want to see him literally impaling himself for pleasure.

As he was walking away from Hidan’s room, he watched as Zetsu materialized about a foot away from him.

“Should I even go in there? I smell blood.” Zetsu said once he had gotten out of the wall.

“If you want to see Hidan impaling himself, go ahead.” Kakuzu said. Leaving Zetsu to whatever he was thinking about doing, he left the hallway. Going through the room that was dubbed ‘the living room’, he entered through yet another hole in the base.

Once he had finally gotten to the kitchen, he took note of the fact that only Itachi was in there. He was semi surprised in which Kisame usually followed Itachi wherever he went. Ignoring that, he began to make breakfast.

Once he had finished, he started to head off to his room. Before he could leave the kitchen, however, he got connected to a ‘telepathic call’.

“What do you want Pain?” He simply asked. He had been in multiple calls before, so he was pretty used to it.

“Get Hidan, you are to locate Deidara, a male from the Village Hidden in Stone. He has an explosive personality, and you will know him when you see him. He will become the final member of our organization. I expect you to be back in a weeks time.” Pain said. Before Kakuzu could respond, Pain cut off the ‘call’.

Deciding to get going the earliest he could, he started walking to Hidan’s room. He could practically smell the blood and costly wall paint repairs. Walking through the rooms, he got to the hallway of rooms. Heading towards Hidan’s room, he knocked on the door. A second later, there was a ‘poof’ sound. Then there was the sound of someone was to the door. A second later, the door opened, revealing a less bloody Hidan. Noted, there were still a few blood stains, but he decided to just ignore that.

“C’mon, Pain wants us to locate the final member of the Akatsuki.” Kakuzu said. Knowing this lunatic would be with him all week, he was not looking forward to this trip at all.


End file.
